Yesterday our whole family met with members of the staff of Lancaster General Health's (formerly Hospital) Alzheimer's & Memory Care Program to hear their diagnosis of the condition of both of my parents and to receive recommendations for their care.
Both mom and dad have been diagnosed with dementia.
It is obvious that dad has had memory issues. In the past few months it became increasingly apparent that mom was having problems with more than the stress of caring for dad.
I am pleased with the way AMC has handled our case. In fact, on both occasions we met with them, they commented that our family is extraordinary. Yesterday, the psychologist who led the meeting explained that the way they were handling the meeting with us was "unique" for them because, as he put it to mom and dad, of the exceptional way they raised their sons. The truth is, however, that the real stars are the daughters-in-law. Roger and I simply married well. This makes me wonder what they see on a daily basis.
When we returned home last night, I was emotionally wasted. We received a lot of information yesterday and absorbing it will take time. At the moment, I am very concerned for mom. She was told directly, yet compassionately, that she has dementia and, probably, in the form of Alzheimer's. She is in its early stage. She also heard the recommendation that they move out of the independent living apartment that has been their home for ten years, something she has resisted with all her heart since we kids began pushing for it a few months ago. I think she felt ganged up on and hemmed in by the entire world yesterday.
One thing I have been struggling with for several years is what it means to obey the command to "honor" your father and mother, not merely to love them or obey them. That search for understanding takes on new meaning for me starting today.
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